may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
