Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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