Soap is not a condiment
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
