a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
