wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize