Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
my god I love twenty year old dicks
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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