At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
