He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
