we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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