he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm always down for nudity.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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