she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
