just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
