you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
