Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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