Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
They have beer where we have blood.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
