I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
