ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
