He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
