Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
don't judge my taste in strippers
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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