My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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