also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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