idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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