I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I need moral support for this bender
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
