Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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