I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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