I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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