lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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