At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Never underestimate the power of titties
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
