When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
