literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
