Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
