I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
