Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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