she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
