I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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