Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
