try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
