I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
