She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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