I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
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