You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
