anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize