Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
