Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize