super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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