She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
