whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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