Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
