Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
All the doctor said was why
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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