i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
