I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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